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About Digital Art / Hobbyist Senior Member Candi41/Female/United States Groups :iconthedarkcarnivale: TheDarkCarnivale
 
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Deviant for 12 Years
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Statistics 871 Deviations 75,243 Comments 276,147 Pageviews

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Princess on the Pea by CindysArt Princess on the Pea :iconcindysart:CindysArt 262 167 Lady Galadriel by Methyss Lady Galadriel :iconmethyss:Methyss 191 36 early morning... by Alcove early morning... :iconalcove:Alcove 198 22 Song of Summer by Gild-a-Lily Song of Summer :icongild-a-lily:Gild-a-Lily 153 77 Devil in My Mind by ForestGirl Devil in My Mind :iconforestgirl:ForestGirl 689 74 Youth by GothicNarcissus Youth :icongothicnarcissus:GothicNarcissus 41 13
Literature
The Killing Season
The killing season
is upon us again -
our sons gone underground,
our trees become weapons
and the last bloom
of our youth
laid bare by carrion.
In town the men
all ask for cigarettes -
the nicotine on their breath
stalking new prey
as it mingles in the streets
and tries to look
indifferent.
The women wear handkerchiefs
like bandages
wrapping their heads;
and from the buildings
stream white flags
and sheets,
warning the children
there are vacancies
below the surface.
Our houses
do not recognize us -
we leave the doors open
while the windows look
disinterested
and the gardens starve.
But we shall collect wounds
this harvest -
roots trapped in soil,
dry husks in crates
and barrels by the score
to haul to market,
the slender barter
of our dreams
a final afterthought
treading on our tongues.
:iconPoetrymann:Poetrymann
:iconpoetrymann:Poetrymann 93 64
Literature
Homecoming
The dead do not need a homecoming
or an invitation -
they do not wait at the door
to be let in
or cross the threshold
with crossed fingers
and a prayer.
They do not wear their best clothes -
no poplin suits
or brocade skirts
to catch upon the lintels
or dust the marble floors.
They will not dine
upon your crusts
or marrow bones or salted eggs
nor steal the heavy coins
from out beneath the rugs .
They'll only tarry
in the hall
and make soft moan
amidst the wind
wondering why you turned
their faces to the wall
and put out
your best china.
:iconPoetrymann:Poetrymann
:iconpoetrymann:Poetrymann 116 89
Je reve by BurakUlker Je reve :iconburakulker:BurakUlker 194 31 Another Time and Place by Phatpuppyart-Studios Another Time and Place :iconphatpuppyart-studios:Phatpuppyart-Studios 367 19 The Crow Queen by Phatpuppyart-Studios The Crow Queen :iconphatpuppyart-studios:Phatpuppyart-Studios 224 23 Holy Prayers by Phatpuppyart-Studios Holy Prayers :iconphatpuppyart-studios:Phatpuppyart-Studios 378 19 Blinding, Dreaming State by GothicNarcissus Blinding, Dreaming State :icongothicnarcissus:GothicNarcissus 93 21 Autre Temps I by GothicNarcissus Autre Temps I :icongothicnarcissus:GothicNarcissus 50 14 Le Secret by GothicNarcissus Le Secret :icongothicnarcissus:GothicNarcissus 51 20

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In my journal talking about my illness some of you seemed interested in reading updates on how I am doing.  If you are confused :-? (Confused)  right now and have no clue as to what I am speaking of then you might want to read this journal entry before continuing on...

Where Have I Been? UPDATE #2HHHEEEEELLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :wave: I'VE MISSED YOU GUYS!!!!! :love: I am so, so sorry for my disappearance here!
I kinda need to do something before I start here....hang on....one minute...
:iconpinkpantieslaplz::iconpinkpantieslaplz::iconpinkpantieslaplz::iconpinkpantieslaplz::iconpinkpantieslaplz:
YAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!!! :D I'm okay... promise! ;)
So, long time no see, right? I've just been busy having fun with my new best friend Myasthenia WTF. :| (Blank Stare)  Myasthenia Huh???:o (Eek) Myasthenia Who???:o (Eek) 
MYASTHENIA GRAVIS aka MG
Yep. That's the one. Difficult to say and not well known since it is rare, not curable and it sucks....A LOT.  But, you know what? It could be far worse.  So many deal with other diseases and things that are far worse.  I am lucky in that sense.
What is MG? I will give you the simple version.  Basically the messages fr


Soooooooooo, here I am with an update! :dummy:

Since that journal entry things have been up and down with me.  I had an opportunity to go to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore to be seen by a neurologist that specializes in Myasthenia Gravis.  She did blood work and confirmed that I have generalized Myasthenia Gravis, which means that it affects my whole body, including my eyes.  There is a type of MG that affects only the eyes. She instructed me to take the full dose of immunosuppressant meds.  My local neurologist had me increasing it every three to four months.  This doctor said that I should have had the full dose months ago.  That's nice. Stare

I started taking the full dose this week.  I am already seeing some improvement.  My body just feels different...it feels stronger.  However, I do have episodes of weakness still and I do tire very quickly.  I have started to walk in the house most of the time without any aide, but I do still use the wheelchair when going out.  I am still not able to walk long distances without needing to rest.  I feel that the double vision and blurriness has improved a little in my eyes.  The one thing that worries me is that I've noticed that when I am super stressed, nervous and anxious (such as in a social situation) that my symptoms come out really bad.  I don't know if that will always be, but I hope it improves. I'm a very shy person, so going out in general makes me like that and if my body freaks out because I'm anxious then I'm not sure what I am going to do. 

I have now lost my job. My employer did not approve my medical leave extension request.  This has gotten me down a bit recently and has sort of put me into funk over everything that I am dealing with.  I really haven't had much motivation lately because of it.  I have been trying to get myself to come out of it, and I think I am very slowly.  Regardless of how I am feeling on the inside I am trying to keep a positive outlook on the outside.

So, that's about it for now.  Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

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Cinnamoncandy
Candi
Artist | Hobbyist | Digital Art
United States
Awarded the honor of becoming an Angel Without Wings - June 2016
Angel without Wings Award by Nameda

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:iconnotmor:
notmor Featured By Owner 41 minutes ago  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you Candi +favHug  Christmas Friends by KmyGraphic  
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:iconcaddman:
caddman Featured By Owner 2 hours ago  Professional General Artist
Candi

thank you my friend
for the faves and support...:) (Smile)

cheers and a nice day 2u

  f2u purple eyeDark Christmas Tree v.2 Patrick (Happy Happy Xmas)
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:iconclu-art:
Clu-art Featured By Owner 11 hours ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for faving Candy! :D

Autumn Picks: Stump Puffball by Clu-art
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:iconeintoern:
EintoeRn Featured By Owner 18 hours ago  Hobbyist Photographer
:+fav: Thank you so much, Candi !
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:icontrippy4u:
Trippy4U Featured By Owner 20 hours ago
Thanks kindly, Candi Town Walk
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